Hopes and Dreams and Birthday Wishes

Urban Chinese parents' fondest dreams are:

A good education for their child [they usually have only one]. The purpose of this education is to assure security for both the parents, their child, their child's spouse and grandchild. Almost no University students have jobs in China. Their parents or other relatives pay for their educations. In some cases, the parents borrow the money. The student's only job is to study and succeed.

The purchase of a home for their child. A great many urban Chinese parents provide the wherewithal (or at least the down payment) for a child to purchase a home. Without a good education, a job, a home (and in some cases a car), a male child isn't really eligible for a good marriage. That is not to say that Chinese kids don't get married without these perks. They do, but it is considered important to have as many of these possessions in place before marriage as possible. Consequently, Chinese young people get married much later than many of their American counterparts. This is not true in rural China, but in urban China, many young people do not marry until their late 20's or early 30's.

Senior high school students do not date at all. An American reading this would probably say that students just date behind their parents' backs. However, that is an American thought, not a Chinese one. A very few high school students date, but in China, the power of parents is very great. In senior high school, kids study to pass the important exam that occurs in June after their senior year. All they do is study. That's it.

My students in Wuhan are freshmen and sophomores at a good University. Only one of my 45 students has a boyfriend.The rest have never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. It's not their job at this time in life. Childhood lasts a long time among good students.

And finally, parents dream of an appropriate mate for their son or daughter. The requirements are well-known to everyone. Lastly, they look forward to a grandchild, or perhaps two. If an only child marries an only child, they can have two children. That's the Chinese story. It plays out differently in the U.S., but it's the American story too.

My son married a terrific woman who couldn't be more appropriate. Her birthday is this week, so my sincerest Happy Birthday wishes to Lori Ann who has made my son Christian (and his mother) so very happy.